Off the Rug in 1.4 Seconds: Dog Owner Reflex Tee

There is a particular sound, and every dog owner knows it. What it triggers is the fastest any of them move all year: off the sofa, dog up, onto hard floor, all of it finished before the thought arrives. One point four seconds is not a boast. It is the record.

A stranger reads a time. A sprint, a wrestling move, a car statistic, a cleaning product claim. The decimal point is what makes them believe it, because nobody questions a measurement that specific.

Punched as a house record ticket and set like a posted time. The figure stays a numeral here, because the fake precision is the joke and words would soften it.

It is a shirt about the owner's reflexes, and it stops there.

What it is

• Unisex softstyle tee, 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• 100% ring-spun cotton in the solid colors. Sport Grey is a 90% cotton, 10% polyester blend, and Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• Double stitched neckline and sleeves, side seamed, tear away label
• Sizes S through 3XL
• Fourteen colors. Seven light ones printed in near black ink, seven dark ones printed in cream

Where it comes from

Custom printed in the USA. Every shirt is printed here, one at a time, on a soft cotton blank woven overseas.

Nothing is printed until you order it, so nothing sits in a warehouse and nothing gets thrown away.

Getting it to you

Free US shipping on orders $45 and up. Under that it is a flat $8.00. We make it after you order it, which takes 2 to 5 business days, and it then takes 3 to 4 business days to reach you from a US facility. Most orders arrive in 5 to 9 business days. You get a tracking number by email as soon as the label is created.

Care

Machine wash cold, inside out, gentle cycle. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Do not iron the print.

The Natural colorway

Natural has small dark speckles through the fabric. That is the undyed cotton showing, and it is expected rather than a fault.