A Microwave Beeped and I Stood Up: Firefighter EMS Hoodie

It is a conditioned response and it does not switch off at the end of a shift. A microwave, a dryer, a smoke alarm chirping in somebody else's kitchen, any tone in roughly the right register, and you are standing before you have decided anything at all.

From outside it is a joke about being jumpy, or about being hungry. People pick one cheerfully and commit to it. It is bought by the person who has watched it happen at their own kitchen counter.

Filed under KITCHEN, DAY ROOM with NO RESPONSE REQUIRED beneath. Set small and low with a lot of blank shirt above it, and nothing drawn. The understatement is the joke.

What it is

• Unisex heavy blend hoodie, 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)
• 50% pre-shrunk cotton, 50% polyester, spun from air-jet yarn, which is what makes it feel soft and keeps it from pilling
• Double-lined hood with a matching drawcord, and a front pouch pocket
• 1x1 athletic rib-knit cuffs and waistband with spandex, and double-needle stitching at the collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs and hem
• Quarter-turned body, cut that way so there is no crease down the middle
• Sizes S through 3XL
• Eleven colors. Four light ones printed in near black ink, seven dark ones printed in cream

How it is made

Printed to order in the USA on an imported blank. The blank is sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras or El Salvador, and the printing happens here.

Nothing is printed until you order it, so nothing sits in a warehouse and nothing gets thrown away.

Getting it to you

Free US shipping. We make it after you order it, which takes 2 to 5 business days, and it then takes 3 to 4 business days to reach you from a US facility. Most orders arrive in 5 to 9 business days. You get a tracking number by email as soon as the label is created.

Care

Machine wash cold, inside out, gentle cycle. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Do not iron the print.

The White colorway

White on this hoodie reads as a soft off-white rather than a bright white. That is the blended fabric doing it, and it is expected rather than a fault.